In the very first cycle of the lunar year – the Aries New Moon cycle back in April – my heart took a big hit. Something happened where I felt both deeply disappointed in myself, as well as judged and painfully unsupported.
This Aries cycle, with all its forward movement and fire energy, plunged me into an underworld journey that has lasted six months.
And in that time, I’ve only been able to engage with the Lunar Solar Journal in bits and pieces. I’ve occasionally used the circular map to document events and feelings, but many maps have been left blank, and no creative digestion has happened.
I went to see an Ayurvedic doctor, who said my digestive fire was low and that this was connected to my heart feeling heavy (to simplify and do a great injustice to her nuanced understanding of my pulse and spirit!).
In a bodily way, I have struggled to digest my life, especially at a big picture level. This painful incident called me into all my ongoing doubts about myself and my path.
In retrospect, the gifts of this space have been a more soulful acquaintance with my heart, deepening my understanding of my heart medicine, and what I need to live in heart-felt ways. I needed to see the strengths and weaknesses of my heart, and I have come to a place of more loving acceptance of my ‘perfectly imperfect’ self, as Minmia says. I am human, and so are others, and compassion is the path!
As I have felt myself emerging from the Underworld, my digestive fire has been rising. One day a little while ago, I suddenly felt able to unpack my life again in this way. Sat down and, using my journal, filled in all the gaps in the seven maps/cycles we’ve lived since starting the LSJ this year.
Even managed to work creatively with what emerged from the maps a bit later on – nothing spectacular, but very nourishing for my soul!
These pieces are not poetry, really, but rather, an interweaving of themes from that month – words as anchors of my experience, nourishment flowing in as these words play together unexpectedly on the page, and I get to understand my experience in a new light…
They also capture a tangible experience of pregnancy and birthing within my psyche over this time – something I’ll write more on soon…
In a crazy synchronicity, my first face-to-face meeting with a friend to begin the process of soulful resolution happened EXACTLY six months to the day that the original incident went down!
Astrology is sacred geometry, inviting us always to look from the opposite side of the circle, to hold the polarities embodied – six months later, in the case of this LSJ annual cycle.
What was happening for you six months ago?
How has this been turned on its head?!
Or what expanded perspectives have arrived in your living since April?
Can you trace the threads of transformation and/or clarity that have been flowing through your experience, evidenced on your maps?
I don’t love how long I’ve had to live with myself in the Underworld. It’s a painful place at times, though not without its solace. Yet, just like any plant, I’ve had to wait for ripeness… for readiness… Who am I to rush Nature, as much as I sometimes want to!
I write all this as an ongoing invitation to both trust your own process and timing, and to keep mapping your life in whatever form! Our listening hearts guide the way…