Running into the whole porn thing again was an invitation to look more deeply at what’s arising. Porn feels like the tip of a big iceberg of sexuality that has been obscured and repudiated within the patriarchy.
Nothing new there. What is new is the impetus to expand things bigger than my man and I, and gather a diversity of perspectives. I blame the Solar eclipse! And I hold the intention of this seed, humbly and honestly, growing into an expansive Tree of healing underneath which my children and I can sit!
My vision and understanding of sexuality is inherently coloured by my unbringing with the patriarchy: western culture as a whole, the subculture of the Christian church within which I grew up, and the sexual abuse that occurred within my family one generation before me. I come by my wounds and fears honestly. I want a conversation where I can feel deeply – where tears, desire, the rawness of our reality, are valued and honoured.
I know there’s so much at play: secrecy, shame, ancestral lineage, abuse, fear, pleasure, freedom, safety. I can’t think it through on my own. I’m not wanting a simple ‘fix-it’ solution. I’m asking for help to see the iceberg a little more. Believing that if we can compare our different experiences, we’ll be able to better understand each other, and create some new possibilities.
Fundamentally, I want to get clearer on what vision I can hold, to pass on to my beautiful, beautiful sons and daughter, in terms of how the masculine and feminine dance together.
I imagine holding a circle in person for women in Melbourne. And/or a circle for women online via Zoom. I am also deeply interested in our brothers’ reflections and lived experiences, but for me, conversations with the women come first.
This subject deserves many more words to gently tease out what’s at play and how we might create a safe space in which to discuss it. If you are at all interested in staying in touch about what evolves and when such conversations might happen, feel free to email meand I’ll create a list of folks willing to Dream in this regard, in this humble manner.
I’ll also send out info on my mailing list as this idea shapes up a big more…
Many thanks for hearing me, and feeling any resonance or dissonance or whatever this brings up for you. I am grateful to not be alone here.